Emo, Unser Süßer Kater..

Emo, wo bist du jetzt?

Bitte komm zurück nach Hause!

Wir vermissen dich :(

A Big Fish in a Little Pond

I do know it when they blame ‘someone’ who is not worth to get the price.

The ‘someone’ is me.

They say, “Who is she? She’s just NOTHING!”

Cynically, they add, “But luck is all over her!”

They conclude, “She really doesn’t deserve it.”

Do they think I’m happy with that?

Do they think I can laugh when my friends are in pain?

However, what do they know about me?

They know nothing.

They don’t know me at all.

How can they be so sure that I don’t deserve it?

Do they ever think that I have a fairy godfather?

Well, they only have to know one thing:

It’s not fun to be a big fish in a little pond

Shit, they still blame on me.  

Whatever.

Percussion Passion

In the end of 2010 or early 2011, I watched ABS art show from my 2008 seniors. My comment: very cool! The concept of the show was really awesome. It could acommodate almost all kinds of art; dance, stage play, and music. In the closing, I remember there were four people danced accompanied by percussion music. At that time, I wished I could play percussion. I hoped I would play percussion when my "ABS time" comes.

Then, two years passed me by. I still wanted to play percussion. No matter how, I still wanted it. When the steering committee gave me a paper to write down my name and what I would be in the event, I wrote my own name in the column 'Music' group. Seeing that, one of my friend asked, sounded shocked, "Music?! What would you play?" I answered with silent, kept writing my full name. "Did you hear her saying? You have to write the instrument you will play as well." Quiet. I wrote, 'percussion' beside my full name. "Percussion? Whom will you play percussion with?" asked her again and again. Finally, I said, "Nope, not yet. We don't need to have the group from the beginning, do we? Later, we will join-up with everyone who has the same interest, won't we? That's what our lecturers want: to unite the Education students and Literature students. Right?" 

Nevertheless, the dream could not be lived as easy as pie. A friend I mentioned above told me that she had seen Literature students had practiced percussion a lot. What?! Really?! I hadn't touched the instrument even once! 

Additionally,  procrastination from the coordinator pushed me  to the hesitation hole. I was standing somewhere in between, whether or not I had to go on to make my dream come true. The fact made my dream drowned much deeper in the foreign ocean. I thought, "Maybe I should end up my dream, maybe I'll be a decoration staff. No more percussion. No more.." 

I felt sad. A kind of sadness I had when I failed enrolling German major. So, I position myself as a decoration staff as well. It was to prevent the cancellation of playing percussion. New year came, I almost gave up with percussion-thing. But then, a good(?) news came up: The first training of percussion. Yaaayy! Since then, I practiced, I practiced a lot until my hands hurt. I wanted to give my best. I and the other nine 'percussionists' were trained by Fajar. No, it was no easy to learn it. Therefore, when I got home, I practiced alone. And finally, on 28th January we made it!! Yippie! My dream had come true! Thanks God! :))


Dank an:
- Allah Swt.
- Eka, for the old-but-strong drumsticks :P
- My 'weird' family even though they were not there watching me, but they supported me :D
- Retta, Odon, Nopnop, Icha, Hani, Fajar, Echi, Novia, Nunik, und Caesar.
- Ag, Maria, and Widi for 'painting' my face, I'm sorry I made some 'modifications' ahahaha :D
- Disa for keeping me supported to play percussion.

Romansa SMA: a short story.

Hey kamu yang disana, siapapun kamu, mau denger cerita aku ga? Mau yah? Harus.

Ceritanya, aku lagi ngeceng si itu. Biar enak sebut aja dia "ucing". Iya, jadi dulu sekitar 2 tahun yang lalu, aku pertama kali ketemu sama si ucing ini di SMA. Kita satu kelas. Sepeti biasa, ada masa orientasi gitu kan. 'Kebetulan' aku dan si ucing melakukan kesalahan yang sama saat masa orientasi: ga bawa obat pribadi. Dulu aku belum punya perasaan apa-apa sama dia.

Tatib : Kenapa kamu ga bawa obat pribadi? (dengan nada yang ga bisa dibilang rendah)
Aku : (dengan nada nyolot) lah, aku kan ga punya penyakit apa-apa. kenapa harus bawa obat pribadi?
Tatib : (ketawa, ngerasa menang) ohoho, kamu belum pernah sakit dari lahir sampe sekarang? (tepuk tangan, drama) keren banget kamu! (mata melotot).
Aku : bukan gitu maks.. (kepotong, si tatib nyolot)
Tatib : Hey! (ke temen-temen tatibnya) ada jagoan nih, yang ga pernah sakit dari lahir!
Aku : kampret! (dalam hati)

Perdebatan berakhir di lapangan. Tatib yang nyemprot aku yang ngegiring aku dan si ucing ke lapangan. Aku dan si ucing berdiri di hadapan dia dan orang yang pegang kamera.
Tatib : kalian berdua berdiri hadep-hadepan.
Aku : deuh, ngapain si! (dalam hati)

Aku dan si ucing nurut. And you know what? Si tatib sial itu nyuruh aku dan si ucing untuk..
Tatib : saling tampar.
Aku dan ucing : HAH?!
Tatib : cepet!
Aku dan si ucing pelan-pelan saling nempelin telapak tangan kita di pipi. Seiring bunyi keplak yang ga kenceng itu, ada tangan-tangan jahil yang menekan tombol kamera.

Besoknya, sekolah heboh gara-gara foto di mading yang romantis kampret banget. Foto aku dan si ucing yang lagi pegangan pipi.

Temen aku : lu ngapain itu? (nunjuk foto) Hah? Ngapain? Romantis amat. (ketawa ngakak)
Aku : sial, itu kan adegan tampar-tamparan, kenapa jadi begitu kesannya?
Ucing : (ketawa doang)
Aku : (nyabut foto, ngerobek)
Temen : (ngakak lagi) percuma! fotonya juga ada di FB MOS. (ngakak sampe nangis)
Aku : (buka FB, search: MOS SMA Sayang Ibu 2009, unfriend.)

2 tahun kemudian..

Sekarang, perasaanku berubah sama si ucing. Aku mau foto itu. Aku mau foto aku sama si ucing. Tapi sayangnya, aku ga nemu FB MOS itu. Mungkin udah di-delete. Padahal, that's the only picture I have with him. Ngerasa bego dan desperate waktu nyari-nyari akun yang selama 2 tahun sebelumnya jadi akun yang paling anti aku kepoin. 

Gitu, aku mau cerita itu doang ko. Makasih ya.. udah mau dengerin curhatan aku.

Before vs After...

Before enrolling in college: 48 kg 

After enrolling in college: 42 kg

HAHA 

Jurnal Dua Hari Sebelum Tahun Baru

Kalau aku bisa menghabisi semua tugas dalam satu malam ini, aku adalah pahlawan untuk diriku sendiri. Membebaskan diri dari perasaan terhantui oleh tugas-tugas gila yang mendera. Aku bakal ketawa ketiwi sepuasnya. Masak ini masak itu tanpa merasa dosa. Nulis ini nulis itu dengan gembira. Maen sini maen situ dengan bahagia. Goes sini goes sana dengan bebas. Nonton ini nonton itu dengan ceria. Ayolah Debi Karmila yang baik hatinya, jangan malas yaaa :D Baca tuh semua kebahagiaan yang bakal kamu dapat kalau kamu mau ngeberesin tugas edan itu malam ini. Yah? Da baik, da bageur..

The Disparity

So many birds in the sky fly away high

So many fish in the ocean swim away far

So many lions in the jungle run away fast

So brave

So easy

So light

So many

So many

So many

But me.