Huggy

Dear My Lovely Mommy,

I want to hug you. Right now. You're the only one who can give me a sincere hug. A kind of hug that is powerful to calm me down, to make me feel safe, to make me think that everything is always right. I rarely give hug to people or get hug from people. 

As I can remember, I hugged my friend in senior high school,  a long-time hug, and the boys started to stare to us. I could see what in their head was: are they friends or lovers?. It made me insecure when hugging her. I remember when I came out of a lecturer’s office and screamed, “I PASS!!” then accidentally I hugged one of my friends who was sitting in front of the office door. When I had realized, I let go of her immediately. I never hug people except the three of those I mentioned before. 

I only want yours. I want you to calm me down, to make me feel safe, to make me think that everything is always fine. Deep down.. I want to hug you right now. How I wish I could..

Hug me, Mommy.

Hug me now.

October 16th 2012, 11.16 p.m.

Sincerely,

Your daughter.